Unpleasant kindness happens when we have to show our kindness even to a unpleasant or awkward situation. Today at work, my department manager got suspended for some reason, so he didn’t show up. Eventually, the store manager pulled people from other department for help. It was actually a good move, because I really needed some hands. There were only me working this morning if I did not have any help. And I have to do work on the pallets and sales floor by myself.
So there was a guy came in for help, named A (I don’t want to say the name, so just replace it with A.) A actually did a very good job, as a new guy. He asked question when he did not understand something, and was working fast while things finished in a good status. It was good to have him. At the ends, he asked me if he did a good job. From this part, I would really want to say yes, because he was. Yet, there was something about me held me back. It was not because of his performance. It was just me. I tended to understate my compliment. For instance, I would say something was alright while I meant to say good. Or I would say something was good while I meant it was extremely good.
So yeah, I responded “you are alright.” I understood it was kind of my fault. Yet, I am just not quite good at praising someone or something. Well, then he was unhappy, which I can understand, because he was putting hard work on it. So I tried to ease the string between me and him, explained the under-meaning of my statement. Of cause, in his perspective, it may sounded insincere. What could I do? I was not gonna say the word, good. Because that meant extremely good to me, when he was not. More importantly, although I really appreciated his hard work, he was just doing his job after all. He gets paid for his work. He acted like he was doing myself a favor. To be honest, with or without his favor, I would still be fine. He did not have to act like he was giving, like someone was giving to a beggar.
This was where pinched me. Then he was kept asking me the same question, want me to say it to the manager. Sorry, I did not want to do it. Again, he was just doing his job. I could say he was very helpful, but not to the extent of extremely helpful. Out of etiquette, I still had to smile to him, and try to find another way to comfort him like a child or baby in a way my heart approved. Because I did not want to make enemies. This kind of situation makes me to think of my dad. He always says, there are lots of things to learn in the “university of society”.