Daily life / Random

Where am I Hiding?

Every now and then, there are times I want to be alone. In fact, the times I want to be alone probably is more than the times I want to be social. That is probably one of the reason why I am okay to be single for 23 years.  I am 23 years old by the way. Sometimes, people around me say that, I don’t understand the beauty and good of getting involved with a woman. I admit, I don’t. But I am okay with it, at least for now. Who knows what is going to happen in the future? Although I will still have the urge of get involved once awhile, the feeling fades away pretty soon, like within an hour, then I move on.

There is a habit or pattern I notice through out the years. Whenever I arrive a new place or environment, there are two things I tend to do. First is to find the closest restroom of the building. I do not know why, restroom is really a rest place for me, both mentally and physically. Of cause, I am not the kind of person who lock myself inside a stalk for hours. That looks pathetic. I do not think it is healthy for me. All I do is to wash my face, fresh up a bit, and face the challenges I am about to confront in the next few minutes.

The reason why they are challenges is that, meeting new people is terrifying. I have gotten better now. I am dare to speak or at least to be the first one to greet. Still, it is a thing requires me more courage to accomplish compared to others. To be honest, I would rather to play ten rounds of roller coaster if I have a choice between two.

For the past ten years, computer used to be my hideout. I still think it is one of the best hideout I could ever find so far. It allows to forget myself by putting myself into the character of the game, and live another life, fantasize my own new world. All I need is a quite room and a computer. There is nothing too complicated, especially when voice chat was not as popular or common back in the days. In my own opinion, I expose myself even only with the voice. And revealing from the public is the least thing I wanted. I am not sure if that is because the voice system, or I am just playing game for so long and eventually got bored of it.  At last year, I was seeking something different to do. As much as I love gaming, I realized I am not good at it. I may win a couple of games every now and then. For some reason, I never consider myself as a gamer, because that sounds very professional. I am not professional at all. Secondly, ten years has passed. Suddenly, I am 23. I do not want to do this for the rest of my life. I want to do something that a 23 years old would do, or something that a college student would do. Now I look at my past. I have never ever been to a bar, a pub, a huge party. One sentence can conclude my situation. I have been missing a lot of fun. And I am.

So last year summer, I bought myself a skateboard because it looks pretty cool. However, it didn’t last very long. I got pretty hype in three months of learning. I gave up eventually. I have to say I am a chicken. I am pretty afraid to fall. It is hurt and quite dangerous. I won’t be screaming whenever I hurt. But it hurts. I got injured pretty easily. This is really a disadvantage when I was back to work. I remember there was a time I almost broke my wrist. I couldn’t ban my hand or joints freely, nor even lift my arm completely. It really affects my work performance especially it requires a lot of physical work such as lifting, moving.

Till the end of September of 2016, I was crazy enough to skate with the bikers in the Critical Mass event. If anyone do not know what it is, you can look up online or look at my previous blog. I skated around 15miles with the bikers. After that, it reminded the joy of biking with my friends when I was very little, around 5 – 6 years old. I decided to get a bike and I did. I have been riding my bike since then. I am able to keep up to ride a certain amount of mileage every week. It is very satisfying. It is not only allow me to meet more people with common interest. It kinda get me into the young adult world. More importantly, It becomes my new hideout. One thing I like to do a lot these days is that, riding on a bike trail at a high speed. I push my limit every time on the trail. At the high speed, I feel like I am invincible. Because I make that speed happen. I forget who I am, where I am. All I know is to pedal, pedal, and pedal, to feel the wind, feel the speed. I AM INVINCIBLE. All my stresses from work and school fade away. The pleasant feeling is much better than killing ten or even hundred people on the computer, although it is still quite a pleasant thing to do.Biking or Cycling may be the best change I have ever made in the past ten years. I can image myself keep this habit for ten more years, like gaming. .



via Daily Prompt: Hideout


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